En Pointe
A poem by Shannon Frost Greenstein
En Pointe
Gelsey Kirkland used to sleep in her pointe shoes
between all the Baryshnikov and the cocaine;
and I get every part of that equation intimately
because there’s absolutely nothing
like watching Mikhail Baryshnikov
do 11 pirouettes in a row.
They said Margot Fonteyn didn’t have great feet
and I get that intimately, too,
because they also said I didn’t have the hips
to ever be a prima ballerina;
but as soon as I learned
that artists are always supposed to suffer –
as soon as I undersood
that discipline is always supposed to hurt –
you can bet I started sleeping in my pointe shoes, too.
To be light and ethereal
takes a shit-ton
of pressure and pain.
But after two years of restless sleep
and twenty years of brutal training,
it would still turn out they were utterly correct;
and I have been mourning
what it felt like to dance
ever since.
None of this is unique, of course;
countless dreams of professional ballet
have suffered a merciless death
at the hands of biology and time.
But being a dancer was how I came to know
the concept of a God
when I urgently needed something in which to believe;
and being a dancer was my singular purpose
when I was still innocent enough to trust
that sheer willpower could be enough.
Now, twenty years removed from tutus and Swan Lake
there remains a cavernous schism
deep in my psyche
which nothing has yet managed to fill.
Because despite the agony and the heartbreak and all of the eating disorders
there is literally nothing like being en pointe.
About the Author:
Shannon Frost Greenstein (she/her) is the author of “These Are a Few of My Least Favorite Things,” a poetry collection with Really Serious Literature. She is a former Ph.D. candidate in Continental Philosophy and a multi-time Pushcart Prize nominee.
Follow her at shannonfrostgreenstein.com or
on Twitter at @ShannonFrostGre
Insta: @zarathustra_speaks
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Poetry Breakfast 
October 2, 2023 at 2:31 AM
Shannon Frost Greenstein, your poem is a deeply moving exploration of the sacrifices and dedication that come with pursuing a passion like ballet. Your words convey the physical and emotional toll of the art form, and the line, “To be light and ethereal takes a shit-ton of pressure and pain,” resonates powerfully. It’s a poignant reminder of the immense dedication and sacrifice required to achieve greatness in any field.
Your personal reflection on how being a dancer once provided a sense of purpose and belief in something greater adds a layer of depth to the poem. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt piece with us. If you ever find a moment, I’d be honored to have you visit my humble blog and share more of your evocative writing. Your talent and passion shine through in this poem. 🩰💔📜
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