I Wish My Mother Had Told Me
A poem by Esha Malik

I Wish My Mother Had Told Me

I wish my mother had told me that wet sand holds footprints

I wish she had told me that ripped hair hurts more when the still settles

I wish she had told me that no matter what you’ll always grieve the wrong way
And for what and who will change depending on the day

I wish my mother had told me that one day she’ll be the weaker one

I wish she had told me that cruelty begins in the home

I wish she had told me that the calm is an illusion and sometimes what comes before a storm is smaller storm
One that knows not to raise the goosebumps on your skin before reaching its final form

I wish my mother had told me it’s the ones you love and the ones you want to love you

I wish she had told me that everyone leaves in the same way

I wish she had told me that tears fall better standing up
And try as you might they’ll never amount to much

I wish my mother had told me at some point all they’ll see is a body

I wish she had told me that even the boys who tell you they love you will treat you the same

I wish she had told me that your girlhood is spent mostly fantasising
And the hair you try to grow out holds the dreams that are most agonising

I wish my mother had told me that sometimes she feels lonely

I wish she had told me that one day I’d mourn for our youths equally

I wish she had told me that wrapped arms will soon ache
And eventually I’d need to let go for her sake

About the Author:

Esha Malik is an English-born Pakistani poet. Born to Pakistani parents in England, Malik’s poetry touches on the difficulties growing up as a South Asian teenage girl from life at home to how this affected her worldview and the societal pressure of womanhood. Her poem “The Braided Cage”, featured in Labaatan magazine’s fourth issue, is her debut. You can find Esha on Twitter & Instagram.

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